Stormy waters

It’s slightly devastating to pick up your kid from Kita only for him to burst into tears the moment he sees you. Evidently the new family arrangement isn’t as much to his liking as first thought.
It’s only slightly devastating because I know he still likes me – he gave me a kiss for no reason at all last week, he hugs me tightly every so often and obviously enjoys our time together – but it’s nevertheless heartbreaking to know the mere sight of me when I go to pick him up reminds him of the sadness he’s feeling.
While he seems happy to have two houses and another place to call home, he clearly wants the three of us to be together in one place at one time.
If he sees animals in a book – sheep for example – he’ll point out the mother and father sheep as well as the Fionnito sheep.
When he’s with me, he’ll ask where Jenny is from time to time. He seems happy enough when I tell him she’s working, but the fact he keeps asking for her seems to indicate an uncertainty, a lack of security. Perhaps the fear he might not see her is weighing heavily on his little heart.
When she is there, he doesn’t want me to go. I don’t know how he is when I amn’t there.
His moods and humor seem to swing wildly. If something’s wrong, he’ll burst into tears and cry loudly, head back theatrically as if given the worst possible news he’s ever heard. He might throw himself on the floor like he did the last two times I picked him up from Kita.
But he can snap out of it straight away, and a minute later he’ll be singing and yabbering away and full of joie de vivre.
It’s worrying. I hate to see him sad, the mood swings aren’t healthy, and it’s even worse to know we are the source of his sadness. I hope he can adjust to the new set-up sooner rather than later.
No family’s perfect, but most two-year-olds don’t have to deal with that realization.


Comments

  1. Oh man, sorry to hear the adjustment is a bit rough. He's so lucky to have two parents who love him and take care of him and worry when's he's sad. You guys are doing the very best you can, and it really will turn out ok, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

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    1. I'm sure it will too. Peaks and troughs and all that. Thanks for your words!

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  2. i'm no parent, but i know of this thing called "terrible two", the mood swings aren't probably ALL because of the family situation. here: http://www.vaterfreuden.de/vaterschaft/kleinkind-1-5-jahre/the-%E2%80%9Eterrible-twos%E2%80%9C-oder-wie-zweij%C3%A4hrige-eltern-an-ihre-grenzen-brin

    and here (english) http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/tackle-terrible-twos/#page=1

    i haven't read these completely, i've just run an eye over, but the beginnings sound accurate at least, according to my developmental psychology knowledge.

    apart from that, i'm sure he is also questioning the change he is sensing in the family situation, like you say, and yes it'll probably be tough at times, but he'll be fine. like you said, a lot of kids go through that.

    sorry if i sound all know-it-all-like. actually theory is all i got when it comes to children.

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    1. Thanks for the material! I know of the terrible twos thing, but suspect there's more to it than just that - the timing is very suspicious.
      I'm no expert, obviously, but don't think much of this "terrible twos" label to be honest. I reckon it's a convenient label to describe how kids get fucked off with all the changes they have to deal with and all the new shit they have to learn, and how they just go mad from time to time.
      It doesn't stop once you turn three either. The same thing happens to adults, only we can go to the pub and drink our troubles away - wait! That's the answer! Thanks! I'll get him a bottle of whiskey.

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    2. don't get me wrong, i never said "oh he's just being his terrible two self" :) he is adjusting to the new setting and it can/will be frustrating for him at times. i was just saying that the age thing could be a factor too, when it comes to the tantrums and all. apparently the tantrums and mood swings are very common around the age of two, hence the terminology. no, it doesn't stop when you turn three, but your frustration threshold slowly gets higher as you get older and you learn to deal with stuff. or you learn to repress your frustration. so yeah, whiskey is the answer! get him a bottle (with milk and honey).

      i'm sure you're doing the best you can, try not to be too hard on yourself. by the way he looks so cute and happy in the photos :)

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    3. Ah no, I know you weren't saying that. It probably is a factor, on top of everything else that's going on.

      He is cute, and generally very happy, which is probably why alarm bells go off when he seems sad...

      But he seems better the last few days already. He was in great form this afternoon/evening so perhaps the whiskey did the trick.

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