Impending nipperdom

So Tuesday was her last dealing with a class of monsters for a year at least. She now has the time she needs to prepare for the one inside her. Suddenly, it’s quite close. Developments inside the mountain indicate impending nipperdom is at hand. Officially there are eight weeks to go but it seems this one is raring to go and get out there. Obviously it doesn’t know any better yet.
It’s certainly making its presence felt, punching or kicking inside with impunity. Little earthquakes rumble across the surface at will, set off by little explosions beneath the surface. It’s mad looking: Jelly Belly. I don’t know how Jenny even sleeps at night. Even as she snoozes the explosions go off at a ferocious rate, to the extent where they actually wake me up! She just slumbers on regardless. Incredible.
“It’s obviously bored in there,” I told her. “It can’t wait to get out.”
“Not at all,” she disagreed. “It’s heaven in there for a baby.”
She’s evidently got a very high opinion of the accommodation she’s providing but I reckon there’s a struggle for freedom going on inside. Free a nipper!
So the final arrangements are being arranged. Next week I’m being dragged to a Geburtsvorbereitungskurs, literally “birth-preparation-course”. I’ve no idea what it’s about but I’ve a strong suspicion it’s some sort of course to prepare for the birth. All I know is I’ve to go for six hours on Saturday and then six hours again on Sunday. Apparently pregnant women forget how to breathe and it’s important for the men to remind them. I can just picture it now – me holding Jenny’s hand as the nipper’s making its grand entrance to the world. “Don’t forget to breathe, dear.”

But those good old days are gone. So I won’t be buying any pints. Not ‘til afterwards at least. I guess – just like the nipper – I have to learn to be patient.
Truthfully though, I know I have it ridiculously easy compared to what the mother is going through. I’ll throw myself into whatever Geburtsvorbereitung is necessary and look forward to practicing the celebratory pints afterwards.
this 'geburtsvorbereitungskurs' isn't bad ... my grandpa was @ the cinema when my father was born ... (weil sie meinen vater nicht so 'früh' erwartet hatten) ;-)
ReplyDeletei watched "the snapper" yesterday. i liked it, it was cute and funny
ReplyDelete"how do you know he was a spanish sailor? he could have been a pakistani postman if you were that drunk" :)
A flippin' great film. Set back in the days when a snapper might have had a future in Ireland.
ReplyDeleteI watched it with Jenny shortly after we found out we'd be three - just to show her what to expect. It was the best Geburtsvorbereitungskurs you could possibly take.